relationships Archives

Puppy Love

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, I’ve been thinking about the loves of my life. For the most part, I’ve been blessed to cross paths with a number of unique individuals. There was a time when I could remember all the names and faces of those that I was intimate with. Then somewhere along the way some of the names became fuzzy, but still I could recall the faces. Now I can’t remember all the names or the faces, but there are some that I will never forget.

I think some people are actually from Pluto

There must be an unusual alignment of the planets and other assorted celestial bodies up there because more than several people I know are experiencing such chaos with their significant others. Each one has a slightly different situation, yet the same old story, that has brought about a questioning of their relationship. Things have either happened or are happening that are obvious signs of disrespect and deceit and these friends are blind to them. Past occurrences of cheating have not been dealt with and ignored because they are trying to just forget it and move on. These friends grumble to me about current arguments and I find myself repeating advice over and over.


One big concern is that some of these friends have young children who are witnessing this verbal and psychological abuse that comes in the form of "joking around" and "teasing." How much of this abuse, disrespect and lying are they willing to take? How much do they value themselves and their children? What else am I supposed to do besides offer commonsense advice? When is it appropriate for me to drop friendly advice and just drop the black and white truth in their laps? Tough love, nothing. I'd like to get some suggestions for some Hawaiian-Aunty Pua-kine advice.

Je Ne Regrette Rien

Well, of course he is using me! To do otherwise would be stupid, and the Sleeptalker is definitely not stupid. Yes, as one reader pointed out, he knows your payday is Third Wednesday, so he showed up the Thursday afterwards, knowing you'd be happy to see him after his absence and knowing he'd have the birthday as extra leverage.

Well, of course.

Where Do Broken Hearts Go?

A couple of years ago, I had this great idea: make some good-quality t-shirts with "Unapologetically Single" screen-printed across the front, and "...but email me if you're cute, employed, and not boring" or something like that. I am still quite convinced I could sell a few of those things.

Despite that being a pretty good summary of my love life, I received a call last night from the woman I've loved since 1988: she's getting married. To a guy who, until a couple of years ago, was one of my best friends.

Love in the 21st Century

I was talking with a friend who has been in a relationship with a woman he considers "The One" for a little over a year, when he told me the story of how they met: over the Internet.

I found this incredibly interesting. I have been a net junkie since I was thirteen, and done everything from chats to forums. Although I have developed on-line social circles, I have never developed romantic relationships over the internet.

Stud or Dud?

While the world takes a collective breath on the eve of a seemingly unavoidable war, some might turn to the pointless and frivolous for a moment of mindless relief. For them I offer Hawaii's Bachelor, a local attempt by an otherwise highly-regarded news outlet to create buzz by capitalizing on a proud mass-media lineage that includes The Bachelor, Joe Millionaire and Married by America.

The Blind Chase

Now here's a question: What is it about a beautiful woman that will cause a guy to be so blind to her otherwise blaring deficiencies?

For some guys, a beautiful woman can say something like, "The sky is so blue," and they might say, "Wow, she's deep." But if an unattractive woman were to say the same thing, they might say, "God, she's so irritating." Not all guys are like this, I realize, but the proportions are somewhat disturbing.

I have a friend who is interested in someone blaringly shallow and self-centered, and he can't help but think she's "awesome." He keeps asking my opinion, and I keep talking till I'm blue in the face, and he thinks I'm being unfair to her. Ultimately, he thinks I'm delusional and will continue the chase. Oh, the human species.